Etiquette at the cash table

[SNutizzle]

Ok folks, this was the most absurd thing I have ever been witness to since I started playing poker, and I just had to retell this so you can become part of the world I was in today at the cash table. Visualize if you will....

I'm sitting in the 4 seat. There are currently only 8 players at the table and no waiting list.

The 7 seat is empty. But not for long. Up comes strolling a very tall, pretty good looking guy. He is giving the California vibe. He is quite proud of himself, you can just tell, he has a really confident air about him. Some might say cocky. And irritating. The type of guy who always has to "be the man" and make sure to display it prominently so that others can't overlook it.

Attached to his arm is his "woman" (or from what I originally thought, his hooker). This girl was about 5'10", Asian, very beautiful, long highlighted hair, tons of make up and a dress that accentuates (very purposefully, I might add) both her very apparently fake large hooters and (isn't doing a very good job of hiding) her cooter. Paired with the very big heels, she looks like she is trying entirely too hard to be sexy, etc.

Cali procedes to sit in the 7 seat, and for some reason, still unbeknownst to myself, they also let Cooter/Hooter sit beside him in a chair pulled up for her in between him and the 8 seat, even though she's not playing. So now we have 11 chairs at the table, even though it wasn't a full game.......
So she's spectating at the table. I am kind of surprised the floor at Venetian is allowing this, but whatever.

In between when he is in a hand (which is almost always, because he raised a ton and called almost everyone's re-raise), she has her arms all around his neck. And they're kissing. No, not like making out or anything, but absurdly inappropriate nonetheless.

The guy turns out to be pretty friendly and talkative at the table, so I'm able to overlook some of this nonsense, but I continue to mentally work on my strategic plan to stack him so they'll go away.

And then the absurd gets worse. He calls over in-suite dining for her and she orders some fancy ass dessert, which (and I wish I were joking, but I'm not) she proceeds to feed him bites of it with her fork in between hands.

Ok, Cali, we get it. You have a hot woman who you basically show off in front of, act like a poker hot shot and treat as your slave. It's getting pretty old.

I look down at and decide to limp in. The flop comes K810 and 2 clubs, which was beautiful. I bet, he calls. Turn is another 10. I check, he bets, I call. River is another 8, so I have a boat. I bet out and he calls.
Turns out he has a boat also, but mine is better. He had flopped 2 pair with K8 and river and 8 for 8s full of Kings. I had 10s full of eights. I for the life of me can't figure out why he didn't rereaise my river bet and I wouldn't have slowed down in the LEAST, especially with the clubs missing. So I took some chips from him, but no stacking just yet.

The absurd PDA behavior continues and I decide it has to happen sooner than later. I look down at Jacks in the small blind. A million people limp, as per usual and I raise out of the SB to $20. Cali calls (of course, fold doesn't seem to be in his poker vernacular), one more person calls and everyone else folds. I am in the worst position and prepared to check fold to any kind of threatening board, UNTIL!! The flop comes:



I am not scared of the diamonds AT ALL, so I check. He bets $40 and the other guy folds, I flat call. Turn is: and I boat. I check again, he goes all in for the remaining $40 he has (my god, why couldn't it have been more?!) and I call. River is insignificant and he shows AK of course.

They get up and leave!

Mission accomplished. Oh and because of him I earn back my tournament buy-in.

So I guess there was a plus side to the otherwise disgusting display at my table

[Bulldog]

I was not in Vegas today. Please dont talk about me like that. My wife can feed me desert whenever. Jeez Ms. Underwood

[Chipless Wonder]

Nice plays Stacey!

p.s. - did you get any pictures of this girl?

[FrankNagaiJr]

Amusing story, thx for sharing.

[ohpokergal]

Nice plays Stacey!

p.s. - did you get any pictures of this girl?

Isn't it interesting how the message in the story is overshadowed by just the THOUGHT of sleezy cleavage and "9 1/2 Weeks" eating..... lol

I'm guessing here, but you're probably playing $1/$2 right? And he's trying to look like Big Daddy Warbucks for lil' Busty Brown?

What EVAH! What a donk....

[stackinsideways]

Ive been waiting to whip this one out

[SNutizzle]

Yep, you guessed it. Low-budget former-teacher Stacey was indeed only playing $1/2 (LOL) and he was trying to be the badass for the hot chick.

And no Scott, sorry no photos. I wanted to implant my fist in both their faces, that is until I realized he would be MY sugar daddy by giving me all his chips eventually. Then I wanted to write him a thank you note.

I still wanted to boot Hooter/Cooter in her barely covered ass though, as she served absolutely no purpose to me.

[wreaks]

I had kind of the opposite happen to me when I was in Vegas Stacey...

It was the overly hot, implanted, drunk chick with attitude that sat down at the 1/3 table with us. Her body-builder boyfriend was walking around the room, and she was away from the table more than she was at the table (her stack [no, not THAT stack]) was only at the table for ~30 min). I think they were kind of fighting, or she was at least mad at him about something.

I was the table big stack (~$1000 maybe?), and she only sat down with $100, to my right. In the one hand I played where she was in it, there were 5 or 6 limps to me (around the button), one of which was her, and I had QQ. I raised it to something like $30, hoping someone would think I was trying to just buy it or bully them with my stack. Everyone folds around to her, and she gets beligerent on me. "Why did you raise it so much?" with attitude. I just shrugged. She asked a couple more questions after she mucked, like what I had and that kind of stuff, all with her little "I'm so hot how can you raise me out of a pot" attitude, but I never showed or told her what I had. A few guys at the table said hi to her when she sat down, just being polite, and she completely ignored them. Oh shit, and I forgot the best part, that she had earphones in!

She left with most of her stack after only playing 5 hands or so. Maybe they were just waiting to get into the club or something. I was happy when she left though. Girls that hot with an attitude that shitty don't really do it for me.

[PokerBroker]

Hey! Enough of the fake boob hating already!!! I think they are well worth the money!

[Chipless Wonder]

Hey! Enough of the fake boob hating already!!! I think they are well worth the money!

If a man pays for his wife to have breast implants, then they end up divorced, would it be reasonable for him to sue for visitation rights? During these weekly visits, he would then be permitted to do anything he wants to her breasts.