Threatened to insert my boot into an opponent's ass

[SNutizzle]

Alright, so last night, I decide I can take a nice short walk from IP after work over to the Harrah's poker room for a fishy 1/2 game.

I buy in for $200 and I will spare the details, but I was sitting with $490 within 20 minutes. The easiest money of my life.

I request a seat change though, because I can't see from 2 (blindness), so I move to seat 6. So far the table trend is limping and seeing lots of cheap flops which, although sometimes boring and a true test of patience, I enjoy.

So I hop in for $2 on the button with Q10 hearts. Flop comes Q8Q. SB bets out $10. There are 2 clubs on board, but I decide not to re-raise, just call. Turn comes the 10c. Beautiful for me if he's on the flush, as I have just boated.
River is a 2.

He bets $25. I raise to $50. He raises to $100, I really have him on the hook now....so I raise all in and he calls. Mind you, this guy bought in 2 minutes ago for $300. He shows Q8. So he flopped the boat and I turned a better one. At this point, I'm sitting around $780 and I'm ready to go, but I hate when people hit and run, so I decide to stick around one more orbit.

Yea, that's right, many of you say "uh oh" because you can feel the shitstorm that about to ensue.

Next time I'm on the button I say to myself "this is the last hand, then I'm out of here, up $600, what a beautiful 90 minutes." I look down on the button at AA. There is a straddle. Guy UTG of the straddle raises to $17, folds around. I make it $55 to go. Continues to fold around. Raiser calls.

Flop is 724 rainbow. He checks. I believe he has either missed AK or that he also has a monster and wants to check raise or reel me in. I bet $65 and now reflecting...perhaps I should have made it more. He thinks awhile, then calls. I am not buying a set here. I have a solid read here that this dude absolutely did NOT call my huge re-raise preflop with 22, 44, or 77 or any variety that would give him 2 pair. Turns out I am correct the entire time, but we'll get to that.

Turn is a 6. Still no flush draw on board. I am done effing around though, so I go all in. I have him way covered and at this point I want to pressure him into either folding or going for all his chips with a smaller monster than mine.

He sits and agonizes over it forever. Finally he calls....it was an additional $187 that he had back. Oh but wait....I forgot to mention 2 important parts here.... Exhibit A) while thinking if he's going to call he says "well you have the best hand right now for sure..... Exhibit B) he then pushes his stack in and says "oh well, I guess I have to gamble here." Just the statement an unlucky person such as myself wants to hear.

I turn over my Aces and he does not look surprised. He does NOT turn over his cards, until the river comes an 8. Then he can barely look me in the eyes as he says "I hit it." And turns over 56 spades.

I would love to hear the feedback here. I want to know what goes through his head calling my re-raise preflop, calling a fairly big bet post flop, missing the draw and then going for his entire stack on being a 22% dog.

BUT, before you reply, let me entertain you.

We all know I have little control over expletives and the force at which they exit my mouth. Well shall we say I had entered this evening kind of in a worn out, cruddy mood and although winning was cheering me up, I still had a lot of fight and fire, piss and vinegar....call it what you may...so I couldn't resist several things here.

When he made his Exhibit B remark, I said "wow, so you are going for it all on a draw against a girl, who obviously has Aces. You don't play poker enough to know that girls always re-raise when they have Aces? Wow."

I couldn't just leave it there though, I had to add "the joy you get of winning my money if you hit your dumb draw will not even compare to the pain of my boot in your ass." LOL!

At this point, the dealer is getting a little nervous and then does me the great favor of landing that 8 for the guy's straight. Several F bombs were dropped, at which point a floor was nearby and came and gave me a warning about my language and sportsmanship. LMAO

At that point, the guy is of course happy because he hit what he wanted, but he's also highly embarassed by the whole scene and so he tries to justify by saying "sorry, that is just how I always play." Followed by "oh great, well then you always play like shit. That is f***ing awesome. Great news everyone! I hope you're coming out on top with suckouts all the time. Bad play is rewarded constantly for people like yourself, and I'm the unluckiest person alive, so of course my made hand can't hold up against your shit."

At this point, the floor is about to make their second warning to me, but I'm already racking up what was left (yes, I still came out plenty on top, but that just screwed up my whole night and attitude and I didn't want the clown to get beat up by a short blond girl either, and trust me...it was coming). I think that is the most furious I have ever been in a cash game before.

Go ahead, let me have it. I know I acted inappropriately, but I can now at least look back and laugh a little bit. Because I can only imagine the scene as witnessed by the rest of the poker room.

And all I could think of afterward, besides how I should have been walking out with about $600 more than I had, was how I just had the ultimate Scott Cook Blow Up, and he didn't even get to see it. So my only choice was to provide you with some of my forum literature so that you can have a laugh at my expense.

[DevilFish73]

I decide I can take a nice short walk from IP after work over to the Harrah's poker room for a fishy 1/2 game.

That is a bad one but not a big surprise given your above statement about how soft the game was there.

"the joy you get of winning my money if you hit your dumb draw will not even compare to the pain of my boot in your ass."

Maybe one of the greatest comebacks ever said after a bad beat..

I just had the ultimate Scott Cook Blow Up, and he didn't even get to see it. So my only choice was to provide you with some of my forum literature so that you can have a laugh at my expense.

The above you have all wrong Stacey.. The famous SCBU is not one where he blows up and yells at someone for a bad beat. It is instead a sitiuation where Scott hand delivers his chips (gift wrapped) to the donk next to him with Q5. Scott then politely tells the man nice hand and leaves the game without incident. After promptly exiting the poker room Scott gets into his Pinto and drives 35 mph all the way home thinking of rainbows and butterflies.

Now that is an original SCBU..

[PaintedHeart]

TThe famous SCBU is not one where he blows up and yells at someone for a bad beat. It is instead a sitiuation where Scott hand delivers his chips (gift wrapped) to the donk next to him with Q5. Scott then politely tells the man nice hand and leaves the game without incident. After promptly exiting the poker room Scott gets into his Pinto and drives 35 mph all the way home thinking of rainbows and butterflies.

Now that is an original SCBU..

Ha ha! I know better than this one!

Stacey - Tough one - you'll get 'em next time.

[niner1984]

you want people making really bad calls like that in the end u will win

[rpavlov]

Hey Stacey,

Sorry you got sucked out on. Glad your session ended up profitable at least.

I'm sure this will be endlessly maligned as too mathy, but aside from this guy's atrocious preflop call (which I have no explanation for), the way he played the rest of the hand doesn't seem to be that horrible, since your bet on the flop was pretty small. People usually seem to assume that because someone got lucky and hit a draw, he/she must have played the hand terribly.

Postflop, there is $117 in the pot, he has to call $65 to win the $117 in the pot, plus your bet of $65, plus a good chance at getting in the rest of his stack, $187, if the straight comes in. So he calls $65 to win $369, which is implied odds of about 5.6-5.7 to 1. The odds of his straight are 37 to 8 against, or about 4.6 to 1. So whether this call is ok depends on a lot of variables, such as whether he can almost always get the rest of his stack in when he hits. Since he's out of position, maybe this is not so obvious, but since you pushed on a card that could make possible straights, it seems like he wouldn't be crazy to think this.

Then, on the turn, he hits a pair, and figures to have 13 outs against your likely overpair. He now has to call $187 to win the $247 in the pot, plus your bet of $187. So he calls $187 to win $434, which is about 2.32 to 1. The odds of hitting one of his 13 outs are 31 to 13 against, or about 2.38 to 1. So if he thinks that you probably have an overpair, but that there's some chance that you're bluffing, his call on the turn is ok.

If I worked out the math right, given your hand, if his plan is to call your flop bet, then you always push the turn, and he calls only when he hits his straight, his EV is +$7-$8. If instead, he plans to do what he did, i.e. call the flop, and call the all-in on the turn if he hits his straight OR a pair, his EV is about +$6. So it would have been better for him to plan to fold the turn unless he hit his straight, but your small bet of just over half the pot on the flop let him make a profitable call. (Again though, he's never recouping the extra $38 he inexplicably put in preflop by calling your reraise.)

The point of all of this is that he sucked out, but if you'd bet a bit more on the flop, you could have ensured that he made a bad play no matter what he did. On a board like this, it doesn't seem so important to string someone along with a smaller than usual bet. If they have a small pair, then it's just going to come down to whether or not they believe you have an overpair, and betting an extra $20-$25 probably won't change that. And if they have a set, with the amount you got in preflop, it's a cooler and you're probably just going to get stacked.

All in all, I agree with George's sentiment that you want people making bad calls like this, but I would say that this applies to his preflop call, rather than to the calls on the flop and turn.

I'm very curious to see what others think though.

[PokerBroker]

You are so mean. Remind me to avoid you when I come to Vegas

[BguitarH]

lol, at least now I know I'm not the only person that has the ability to berate an opponent live just like I would do if it were online. This kind of reminds me of my little blowup at the IP when I was there in September (believe me it was nothing compared to yours Stacey).

So my wife and I get back from clubbing around 2am (staying at the IP) and I decide to play some 1/2 NL at the only active table in the poker room. I'm pretty drunk mind you, which doesn't typically affect my play but certainly affects my tongue. I only had $150 in my wallet at the time so that's what I bought in for. The table was tight except for one kamikaze dorky looking dude with glasses that had a really odd "serial killer" aura about him. He was dead silent, dead serious, but played EVERY SINGLE POT and in a manner like his life depended on whether or not he won EACH HAND. Regardless of hand or position or bet amount, he played pot after pot either raising or betting or calling multiple raises until either winning the hand or finally forced to fold after an opponent's allin and him with nothing. I had seen him go from $200 to under $50 twice in the 30 minutes I was at the table but he always seemed to right the ship before busting. He had roughly $150 going into this hand...

I'm sitting with a stack of about $60 to start the hand after whiffing a few flops against the preflop raising machine and incorrectly making an early laydown before I had any read on the idiot. So I squeeze AK off on the button. Our idiot villain is UTG +1. UTG raises to $10 and the villain quickly calls. It folds to me, and knowing this guy's tenancies I really feel I have only 1 option here. I shove for the $60 and it folds to the original raiser. He ponders and calls the extra $50 and our villain snap calls also. The flop is a rainbow 7 10 Q. The UTG player leads for $25 and our villain snap calls again. The turn is a 9. UTG checks, villain quickly shoves in. The other player thinks for a bit and folds, and our villain silently turns over 7 5 off suit. I scoff in disgust at this garbage hand and the preflop call and mostly knowing that this trash was going to beat my PREMIUM AK after the river would surely brick. The river does surely brick and I fling my cards into the muck, lean way over and loudly rap the middle of the table with an open palm and in a loud mocking fashion say "VERY GOOD HAND, AND VERY WELL PLAYED SIR!" Our villain in a very serial killer fashion calmly and quietly continues to stack up his chips, slowly raises his head, stares right at me and winks. Now naturally this action completely enrages me and as I drunkenly and angrily get up from the table I struggle with composure and with my rage. For the most part I control myself but as I'm walking away I shout really loud "WHAT A ****ING DOUCHE BAG!!!"

My antics had to look pretty comical and childish to the rest of the poker room. I couldn't get myself to go back to that poker room for the next 2 days because I was too embarrassed.

[SNutizzle]

You are so mean. Remind me to avoid you when I come to Vegas

You better avoid me....you probably would have called the preflop re-raise with 92os, knowing your tendencies

[tincup]

Well, SNutizzle, I am in full agreement with you. And must say my worst beat took place a couple weeks ago at the boat in Lawrenceburg, In. I was utg+2 in a 1/3 game, had played ultra tight for two and a half hours when this hand arrived. I looked down at AJoff, and while it's not a great hand, it's worth comin in for a raise IMO from this pos. UTG had limped, and after my raise it folded to the blinds. Both blinds folded to my raise of $16 and the UTG (who happened to be new to the table) called. Flop came down Ac6c 8c ( I had the Ah Jc) . UTG checks to me, and I bet $33 into a $35 pot. He calls. Turn comes 9h, he again checks. (at this point I have put him on a club draw, but wasn't worried somehow knowing my Jc was top club) I bet $96 into a $101 pot............... he thinks for about two minutes then calls. River is a Ts........ He now leads into me for $25........ quite fishy but of course I call because there is no hand that I can really put him on here unless for some really f'd up reason he calls a huge raise preflop and almost pot bets the entire way with 78 and hits the straight? LMFAO i wish it was that nice......... he turns over Th9c!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Flop call made with only 9 high flush draw, turn bet made with second pair no kicker, and of course the river hits him in the mouth.
Well, needless to say, I didn't blow up, much to my wife's surprise ( she was the button for said hand)...... I did however stand up and tell him " I have lost all respect for you sir. " to which he replied "That is fine, I have your money" then i told him that my bank account was deep and he would wind up broke if he had the nuts to sit at the table for any time at all..........................
Then I Reloaded for $200 more, worked it to $675 when This hand happened.................
I'm on the button with J7suited in spades. Aforementioned donk raises utg to $30(obv steal IMO) folded to me I call and sb also calls. Flop comes down QJ3 rainbow. Donk bets out $128. a bit of an over bet.............. I call sb folds........... Turn is ..................7c!!!!! he again bets out $125.......... leaves himself $315 back......... I start my wonderous acting career here and proceed to tell him " you know you have donked more hands than i can count tonite and you have been an ass the entire time, so i'm all in because you are dumb enough to call me with your Aces or Kings and lose your entire stack because you think you are a pro......................... so here's my chips donkey, i'm all in"
He looks at me and insta calls............................................. ..... and rolls over ?
Yep AA................................................ . sweet beautiful unbeatable AA...................
River? 2c no help for Donlk boy, and as I rake the pot I tell him that the ATM is just outside the door to the poker room, and btw would you mind buyin in for another $300........ that's all I'm lacking for my Mortgage this month!
Needless to say , he left, and the table resumed normal play.
So SNutt........................ it does pay you back in time, just be patient and donk them like they donk you and all is well.















Am I a dick for this? I don't think so this is the only way to educate the donks.............
Well, at least that is how I got taught when I was the donkey Lol

[Chipless Wonder]

That's a great story Stacey.

I would love to hear the feedback here. I want to know what goes through his head calling my re-raise preflop, calling a fairly big bet post flop, missing the draw and then going for his entire stack on being a 22% dog.

Simple - it's called B.P.S. (Bad Player Syndrome), and we're all afflicted with it from time to time.

Several F bombs were dropped, at which point a floor was nearby and came and gave me a warning about my language and sportsmanship. LMAO

This just cracks me up. I've witnessed you playing online, but I didn't know it was this bad live too.